so many question so little time to answer

[bodge270]

1. why are wrong numbers never busy
2. why is abbreviation such a long word
3. why doesn't tarzan have a beard
4. why is the 3rd hand on a watch called the second hand
5. do pilots take crash courses
6. if swimming is good for u why r whales so fat
7. does a mime artist have the right to remain silent when arrested
8. if you try to fail and succeed have you failed or succeeded
9. what was the best thing before sliced bread
10. if olive oil is made bt squeezing olives, how is baby oil made
11. how do 2keep off the grass" signs get there in the 1st place
12. if a tortoise looses it shell is it naked or homeless
13. why do we nail do coffin lids
14. how do you draw a blank
15. why are violets blue and not violet
17. whats the speed of dark
18. where does you lap go when you stand
19. when the 1st clock was invented how did they know what the time was
20. if the universe is expanding why is it impossible to find a parking space

[skullo]

lmao n1 m8.

here a few i thought of:

1. how can u go straight on a roundabout
2.why is it when u buy something u walk 200 yards from the shop u bought it at and find the same item cheaper
3.why do police always pull u over when ure driving senceably
4.why do old ppl who insist on driving at 10 mph always buy sporty cars
5.how come when ever u want to go anywhere there's always bloody roadworks.

[KeifOS]

OK just to prove I have an answer for everything!

1. why are wrong numbers never busy
Keif0S's Answer> Because when they are busy you don't know they are wrong!

2. why is abbreviation such a long word
Keif0S's Answer> abbr. isn't though!

3. why doesn't tarzan have a beard
Keif0S's Answer> He shaves like the rest the male cast and crew

4. why is the 3rd hand on a watch called the second hand
Keif0S's Answer> It measure's seconds, duh!

5. do pilots take crash courses
Keif0S's Answer> Most probably.

6. if swimming is good for u why r whales so fat
Keif0S's Answer> They have a hormone imbalance.

7. does a mime artist have the right to remain silent when arrested
Keif0S's Answer> Would be a bit discriminate if they didn't

8. if you try to fail and succeed have you failed or succeeded
Keif0S's Answer> Succeeded, as you have succeeded in failure

9. what was the best thing before sliced bread
Keif0S's Answer> At a guess I would say the discovery of bread

10. if olive oil is made bt squeezing olives, how is baby oil made
Keif0S's Answer> According to Johnson & Johnsons website it's "Mineral Oil, Fragrance"

11. how do "keep off the grass" signs get there in the 1st place
Keif0S's Answer> Generally the grounds keepers put them there, and anyway before the sign is planted there isn't instructions to inform the sign planter to stay off.

12. if a tortoise looses it shell is it naked or homeless
Keif0S's Answer> I'd say it would be dead

13. why do we nail down coffin lids
Keif0S's Answer> So the lid doesn't fall off!

14. how do you draw a blank
Keif0S's Answer> There are 2 in a scrabble bag!

15. why are violets blue and not violet
Keif0S's Answer> Because they are derived from their family name Violaceae and not the colour

17. whats the speed of dark
Keif0S's Answer> approx. 3x10^8m/s, same as the speed of light.

18. where does your lap go when you stand
Keif0S's Answer> These are getting more and more pointless, but I'd say it stays where it is. Feel free to correct me if your thighs miraculously disappear when you are standing.

19. when the 1st clock was invented how did they know what the time was
Keif0S's Answer> The first clock being a sun dial, I think the answer to that is pretty obvious unless we are talking about cloudy days.

20. if the universe is expanding why is it impossible to find a parking space
Keif0S's Answer> It's not impossible! Ask Belial!

[KeifOS]

skullo said:

lmao n1 m8.

here a few i thought of:

1. how can u go straight on a roundabout
2.why is it when u buy something u walk 200 yards from the shop u bought it at and find the same item cheaper
3.why do police always pull u over when ure driving senceably
4.why do old ppl who insist on driving at 10 mph always buy sporty cars
5.how come when ever u want to go anywhere there's always bloody roadworks.

OK to answer your questions too...

1> My friend answered this quite well while doing his army training driving an armoured tank. His commanding officer told him to go straight over, so he did causing severe damage to the roundabout. His argument was so good he got away with it!

2> Buy the item in full with a Barclay Card and they refund the difference. (Other CC's may also provide this service)

3> I'd really like to grumble a bit here, but basically they are bored!

4> It's because they are the only ones that can afford insurance to drive them!

5> This is so true, not really an answer to this, it's more of a fact of life. But lets just say if there weren't roadworks the roads would not be very safe. Ask Belial!

[skullo]

ok then
1.what came first the chicken or the egg?

2.if a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it fall, dose it make a sound?

3. i bet u cant answer this 1 ?WHY?(this is unaswerable because the answer is followed imeadiatly by the same question hence the question has not been answered) lol

[KeifOS]

1> The egg came first. This is on the presumption that chickens evolved from some other type of bird/lizard, so therefore an egg had to have been laid before the freshly evolved chicken (chick if you are being pedantic) could pop out!

2> I would sensibly believe that is would, if I could be arsed I would drop off a recording device in said scenario then listen to the playback to prove my point.

3> Easy answer to WHY? If you say "why" after what I say the gun pointing to your head will automatically fire giving you your answer!

[Fisco]

Can I make a proposal that we now rename this thread 'Pedants Corner'?


;D

[bodge270]

my last and final question has to be


Why the bloody hell did we let keifos on to this forum? ;D

[skullo]

KeifOS said:

1> The egg came first. This is on the presumption that chickens evolved from some other type of bird/lizard, so therefore an egg had to have been laid before the freshly evolved chicken (chick if you are being pedantic) could pop out!

2> I would sensibly believe that is would, if I could be arsed I would drop off a recording device in said scenario then listen to the playback to prove my point.

3> Easy answer to WHY? If you say "why" after what I say the gun pointing to your head will automatically fire giving you your answer!

1. how u know that the chicken didnt evolve from a amoeba(a 1 celled creature) in this case the chicken came first so technically they are both right but both wrong at the same time

2. how could u put a recoding device near the tree if u didnt know which tree was going to fall, so soz cant take that answer lol

3. even if the gun fires its still not answered the question why? it may kill the person who originally asked the question why but there are always others to ask why so it is a continuing question which has no answer

[KeifOS]

Oh dear, we have much to learn...

1> Single celled organsims do not SUDDENLY evolve into macroscopic lifeform let alone a chicken. At best it may evolve into a pile of goo!

2> I think the placing bit would be quite possible, but indeed knowing if the tree will fall is a bit of a lottery. I was going to put this in my original answer but I thought you'd have more sense to realise that you would rig the tree to fall while no one was around. And I think on return the newly made vertically challenged tree should suffice as evidence of it have fallen.

3> I never said it would give other people the answer did I? And I'm sure after enough people saw me enlightening a pile of corpses to their miraculous answer that they would eventually think better of asking it anymore! And if you want to be really silly, if people did keep asking eventually there would be no one left, and therefor NOT a continuing question!

*points gun at skullo's head and says " Do you feel lucky?"*

[Beelzebull]

LMAO had to read it

[skullo]

KeifOS said:

Oh dear, we have much to learn...

1> Single celled organsims do not SUDDENLY evolve into macroscopic lifeform let alone a chicken. At best it may evolve into a pile of goo!

2> I think the placing bit would be quite possible, but indeed knowing if the tree will fall is a bit of a lottery. I was going to put this in my original answer but I thought you'd have more sense to realise that you would rig the tree to fall while no one was around. And I think on return the newly made vertically challenged tree should suffice as evidence of it have fallen.

3> I never said it would give other people the answer did I? And I'm sure after enough people saw me enlightening a pile of corpses to their miraculous answer that they would eventually think better of asking it anymore! And if you want to be really silly, if people did keep asking eventually there would be no one left, and therefor NOT a continuing question!

*points gun at skullo's head and says " Do you feel lucky?"*

1. now look who being picky lol, ne way it is a fact that though evolution a chicken could have evolved from an amoeba, yer first stage may have been goo but eventually it could have made a chicken, and though the process of evolution the first creatures may have been mamal type creature giving birth to live young until the "said" chicken evolved to lay eggs!

2.as for the tree option yer could follow ure path of resoning but as the original was ment to mean, it is a random tree in a forest and no one is there(and hasnt been to interfear with the bloody tree lol) so once again although ure answer is a feasable 1 it dont directly answer the question.

3.Yer i do feel luck coz when ever 1 is dead(including ureself) the last question of why would still not be answered so once again ure answer is not acceptable because as i said it a question without and answer for the reasons i explained in my last post.


p.s.
lmao i have been said to have an answer for every thing(well maybe not the why question lol)

[KeifOS]

As much as I'd like to continue this and am quite capable to continue too, I just can't be arsed lol.

All I will say is that I have an answer for everthing, not necessarily the correct answer! And yes, I still have answers to your last set of cross examinations!

[skullo]

so i take it we calling it a draw then lol

[KeifOS]

Calling what a draw?

Wasn't aware that there was a competition going on here?

I've done what I said I was going to do and a bit more. Just because you do not want to accept my answers doesn't mean that I have something to lose!