Post by Micky on Feb 17, 2004 23:55:10 GMT
Question:
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Can a storm be officially designated as a tornado without touching down at a trailer park?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of G-d?
Can I yell 'movie' in a crowded firehouse?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
How did a fool and his money GET together?
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?
If 'con' is the opposite of 'pro,' then what is the opposite of progress?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
If a train station is where the train stops, what is a workstation?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
If you throw a belial's lunchout a car window, does it become kitty litter?
Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
What is a 'free' gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it all?'
Why are there 5 syllables in the word 'monosyllabic'?
Why do banks charge you a 'non-sufficient funds fee' on money they already know you don't have?
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
Why doesn't DOS ever say 'EXCELLENT command or filename!'
If atheists say there is no God, who do they think pops up the next Kleenex in the box?
Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
If it's 0 degrees today, and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, ...how cold will it be?
What year did Jesus think it was?
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from??
Is there another word for synonym?
If the only thing to survive a plane crash is the black box, why don't they make the whole plane out of the black box?
If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If quitters never win, and winners never cheat, who's the idiot that said 'Quit while you're ahead'?
What are Preparation A thru Preparation G?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
If knees were backward, what would chairs look like?
In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
Why is it that when a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment, but when a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95/minute?
Did Washington flash a quarter when asked for ID?
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers??
Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
Does a person ever get sick without being tired?
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
If a cigarette smoker wakes up from a 7-year coma, does he want a cigarette?
How do you know when yogurt goes bad?
Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
Why is it that when we ship something by truck, it's called a shipment but if we send something by ship, it's called cargo?
Why is it that when you are on the telephone, writing furiously and holding a finger up to tell the person who just came into your office to hold on a second, they ask 'Do you have a minute?'
Why is Greenland icy, and Iceland green?
If you take the wings off of a fly, does it become a walk?
How come there aren't 'B' batteries?
If the post office has machines that can sort snail mail at 1000's of times per minute, then why do they give them to a little old man on a bike to deliver?
Why do doctors call what they do practice?
How do 'Do Not Walk On Grass' signs get there?
Why do black olives come inCans and green olives come in jars?
Is a metaphor like a simile?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If G-d dropped acid, would he see people?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If you ate pasta and anti pasta, would you still be hungry?
Why are hemorrhoids called 'hemorrhoids' instead of 'asteroids'?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
I replaced the headlights on my car with strobe lights. Now it looks like I'm the only one moving.
I bought some powdered water....but I didn't know what to add.
Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?
Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?
Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
Do flies get embarrassed when they get unzipped?
Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How can someone 'draw a blank'?
How can there be self-help 'groups'?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
How do you know if honesty is the best policy unless you've tried some of the others?
How do you throw away a garbage can?
How does a thermos know whether a drink should be hot or cold?
How does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work in the mornings?
If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers?
If you had a million Shakespeares, would they write like a monkey?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on headlights?
In court, why do they ask if you swear to tell the truth? If you're planning on lying, do they really think you'll tell them so?
What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?
What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
What happens to an 18-hour bra after 18 hours?
What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Where are the germs that cause 'good' breath?
Where did Webster look up the definitions when he wrote the dictionary?
Why aren't there ever any GUILTY bystanders?
Why can't you make another word using all the letters in 'anagram'?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
Why do hot dogs come ten to a package and hot dog buns only eight?
Why do mattresses have springs, if they aren't made for jumping on?
Why do they call it life insurance?
Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up?
Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing is wrong?
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?
Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day?
Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?
Why is your index finger the same size as your nostrils?
How do you remove a club soda stain?
What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about?
How can there be self-help groups?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
What happened to the first 6 'ups'?
Where do flys go when it rains?
Why Do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
How much would they pay the matador if the bull had no horns?
Why do Pringles have resealable tops if "Once you pop, you can't stop"?
Why is 'lisp' spelt with an 's'?
Why is 'dyslexia' so hard to spell?
Why isn't 'phonetically' spelt with an 'f'?
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Can a storm be officially designated as a tornado without touching down at a trailer park?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of G-d?
Can I yell 'movie' in a crowded firehouse?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
How did a fool and his money GET together?
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?
If 'con' is the opposite of 'pro,' then what is the opposite of progress?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
If a train station is where the train stops, what is a workstation?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
If you throw a belial's lunchout a car window, does it become kitty litter?
Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
What is a 'free' gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it all?'
Why are there 5 syllables in the word 'monosyllabic'?
Why do banks charge you a 'non-sufficient funds fee' on money they already know you don't have?
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
Why doesn't DOS ever say 'EXCELLENT command or filename!'
If atheists say there is no God, who do they think pops up the next Kleenex in the box?
Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
If it's 0 degrees today, and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, ...how cold will it be?
What year did Jesus think it was?
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from??
Is there another word for synonym?
If the only thing to survive a plane crash is the black box, why don't they make the whole plane out of the black box?
If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If quitters never win, and winners never cheat, who's the idiot that said 'Quit while you're ahead'?
What are Preparation A thru Preparation G?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
If knees were backward, what would chairs look like?
In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
Why is it that when a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment, but when a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95/minute?
Did Washington flash a quarter when asked for ID?
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers??
Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
Does a person ever get sick without being tired?
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
If a cigarette smoker wakes up from a 7-year coma, does he want a cigarette?
How do you know when yogurt goes bad?
Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
Why is it that when we ship something by truck, it's called a shipment but if we send something by ship, it's called cargo?
Why is it that when you are on the telephone, writing furiously and holding a finger up to tell the person who just came into your office to hold on a second, they ask 'Do you have a minute?'
Why is Greenland icy, and Iceland green?
If you take the wings off of a fly, does it become a walk?
How come there aren't 'B' batteries?
If the post office has machines that can sort snail mail at 1000's of times per minute, then why do they give them to a little old man on a bike to deliver?
Why do doctors call what they do practice?
How do 'Do Not Walk On Grass' signs get there?
Why do black olives come inCans and green olives come in jars?
Is a metaphor like a simile?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If G-d dropped acid, would he see people?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If you ate pasta and anti pasta, would you still be hungry?
Why are hemorrhoids called 'hemorrhoids' instead of 'asteroids'?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
I replaced the headlights on my car with strobe lights. Now it looks like I'm the only one moving.
I bought some powdered water....but I didn't know what to add.
Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?
Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?
Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
Do flies get embarrassed when they get unzipped?
Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How can someone 'draw a blank'?
How can there be self-help 'groups'?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
How do you know if honesty is the best policy unless you've tried some of the others?
How do you throw away a garbage can?
How does a thermos know whether a drink should be hot or cold?
How does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work in the mornings?
If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers?
If you had a million Shakespeares, would they write like a monkey?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on headlights?
In court, why do they ask if you swear to tell the truth? If you're planning on lying, do they really think you'll tell them so?
What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?
What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
What happens to an 18-hour bra after 18 hours?
What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Where are the germs that cause 'good' breath?
Where did Webster look up the definitions when he wrote the dictionary?
Why aren't there ever any GUILTY bystanders?
Why can't you make another word using all the letters in 'anagram'?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
Why do hot dogs come ten to a package and hot dog buns only eight?
Why do mattresses have springs, if they aren't made for jumping on?
Why do they call it life insurance?
Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up?
Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing is wrong?
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?
Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day?
Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?
Why is your index finger the same size as your nostrils?
How do you remove a club soda stain?
What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about?
How can there be self-help groups?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
What happened to the first 6 'ups'?
Where do flys go when it rains?
Why Do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
How much would they pay the matador if the bull had no horns?
Why do Pringles have resealable tops if "Once you pop, you can't stop"?
Why is 'lisp' spelt with an 's'?
Why is 'dyslexia' so hard to spell?
Why isn't 'phonetically' spelt with an 'f'?
(by the way you owe me $200000000000000 
)
