Post by Micky on Aug 12, 2004 8:47:07 GMT
>Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The
>stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion
>per passenger."
>
>Two Eskimos sitting in a boat were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the
>craft, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat
>it, too.
>
>A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the
>bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
>
>Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a root canal?
>He wanted to transcend dental medication.
>
>A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the
>lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour,
>the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?"
>one asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I don't want chess nuts
>boasting in an open foyer."
>
>A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a
>family in Egypt and is named 'Ahmal'. The other goes to a family in Spain;
>they name him 'Juan'. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his
>birth mother. Upon receiving the picture she tell her husband that she
>wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They were
>twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
>
>Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
>produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
>little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from
>bad breath. This made him... what?
>A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
>
>Did you hear about the bloke who was into sadism, necrophilia and
>bestiality? He finally gave it up because it was just flogging a dead
>horse.
>
>And finally, there was a person who sent ten different puns to friends,
>with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
>Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
>
>And One more for luck....................
>
>Did you know that William Tell and his family were keen 10 pin bowlers?
>Unfortunately all of the league records were lost in a fire, so we don't
>know For Whom The Tells Bowled.
>stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion
>per passenger."
>
>Two Eskimos sitting in a boat were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the
>craft, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat
>it, too.
>
>A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the
>bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
>
>Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a root canal?
>He wanted to transcend dental medication.
>
>A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the
>lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour,
>the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?"
>one asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I don't want chess nuts
>boasting in an open foyer."
>
>A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a
>family in Egypt and is named 'Ahmal'. The other goes to a family in Spain;
>they name him 'Juan'. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his
>birth mother. Upon receiving the picture she tell her husband that she
>wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They were
>twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
>
>Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
>produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
>little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from
>bad breath. This made him... what?
>A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
>
>Did you hear about the bloke who was into sadism, necrophilia and
>bestiality? He finally gave it up because it was just flogging a dead
>horse.
>
>And finally, there was a person who sent ten different puns to friends,
>with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
>Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
>
>And One more for luck....................
>
>Did you know that William Tell and his family were keen 10 pin bowlers?
>Unfortunately all of the league records were lost in a fire, so we don't
>know For Whom The Tells Bowled.